I Abso-fucking-lutely Cannot Get Over You!

Dear India,

I'm soooo proud of you....for being sooo consistent.....in having your head up your ass most of the time. Seriously, I AM proud of you! You NEVER fail to disappoint me...and with this new issue at hand, I'll talk to you about how you've found another way to disappointment me....AGAIN. Let's have an honest conversation, shall we?

Sweetheart, what I don't like about you is the fact that you can only focus on one thing at a time. You've been talking my ear off about this Delhi gang rape issue but you don't seem to be able to focus on other rape issue that happened in Gujarat where a 2-year old was raped by her uncle and dumped before she succumbed to death, or other thousand cases that happened every month which are not reported. Nope, you can only focus on things that the media focuses on, isn't it?

Another thing I really hate about you, honey, is your fucked-up justice system and your thoughts towards punishment. I MEAN REALLY! Do you seriously think that having capital punishment for rape ever going to work out? REALLY? Wouldn't it be easier for the perpetrator, then, to kill the victim instead of risking him/her tell the authorities about it if he is going to get the same punishment? REALLY? Is your head that far up your ass that you cannot see this straight? If it were me, I would make sure that we change the certainty of punishment, not severity....but I guess it's just me!

Also, pumpkin, what are you doing about the hundreds of thousands of other women who are violated every year? What is the message you're giving them? You're asking them not to go out at night, not to wear "indecent" clothes, not to walk alone, etc. From where I stand, it doesn't seem like you're empowering them in any way, are you? Which leads me to ask you another question...What, in your opinion, leads to sexual violence?

Anyway, back to empowering women. Tell me, honestly, what are you doing about empowering women? I'm having open conversation about sexuality and sexual exploitation with my 12 year old students, what are you doing? You're forcing me not to do this, you're forcing me to see sex as a taboo (which, by the way, I refuse to do), you're thwarting my efforts at making our youth more informed and open about violence....and it's making me angry! So, how are you empowering women? I am afraid to go to the cops lest they pass some rude comments or blame me for getting violated. I am afraid to close my eyes in a train lest someone gropes me. I am afraid to sit on a bus full of people lest someone jacks off in front of me.....SERIOUSLY!! I don't see you empowering me, I honestly don't!

You make people caution their daughters and sisters to not go out at night but you don't tell these very same people to teach their daughters and sisters to fight for themselves. You teach them to fear walking alone at night but you don't teach them to shout when there is danger. I am appalled at the way you're handling this violence against women....REALLY!

Well, I could go on forever about this but I won't! Here are a few things you should remember if you're going to make any progress on this issue:

1. Empower women! Help them come out of the shell they've been living in for such a long time. Marital rape is still rape! Educate them!
2. Understand the cause for violence against women! Power and control....ever heard about it? Not sexual gratification. But if you still feel that sexual gratification is the cause, then lift some pressure off the whole sex thing! SERIOUSLY! Also, R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
3. Make the legal system better! I mean, c'mon, isn't that obvious! Also, remember that most perpetrators of rape know the victim, so you'll have to work harder towards this!
4. Be empathetic, not sympathetic! This is something that should come naturally but it hasn't, so work towards it! Ask that corrupt system of yours to work towards this!

So, babe, when can I expect you to take your head outta your ass? When we have a few thousand more of such cases? Or when your leaders are done taking out minorities (or terrorists, as they like to call them)? Or when we become a failed state and use this as a tool for redemption?

I'm waiting...

The "R" word

Racism....what's with this word? For some people, this word has become a taboo. Some put this out there as if everything comes down to this one common denominator. And for some, it doesn't mean anything. Recent events, especially former President Jimmy Carter's interview where he said, "I think overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he’s African American..." has brought this issue into the spotlight again. But before I say anything, I want to make it clear that whatever I say in here is based on my experience and knowledge, so feel free to disagree.

Does racism exist? I'll be damned if it doesn't!! One thing that drives humankind is power. Every single one of us wants to have power...being powerless is scary!! Throughout the history, we have seen people use different techniques to gain power. We have had wars because of that, we have raped, pillaged, and plundered for power. Our history shows that we can go to any lengths for that power....and unfortunately, we don't learn from our mistakes. Discrimination is one of the ways in which we maintain power and control. When I talk about discrimination, I not only mean in terms of race but also in terms of religion, caste, class, gender, and sexuality. Racism is just one of them...

I come from a country where we do not have racism. There, we 'only' discriminate people on the basis of their caste, creed, education, and culture (part of the country they're from). Fortunately, I had always belonged in the majority group in my country and felt safe. Although I had traveled to other countries, I had never stayed in those places long enough to be pushed aside. It wasn't until I came here that I realized the privileges I had back home. Would things have been different had a been a White alien? Probably. I have known other White non-citizens who had heavy accents not being asked whether they were US citizens or if they understood English. This has happened to me a few times....being asked if I understood English...among other absurd things.

That was in the Wonder Bread land, the Midwest. The other day, a couple of my friends asked me to acompany them to a bar that I had never been to in Philly. But when I went in there, I felt like I was the only minority in that place....and people were looking at me funny. No, they didn't ask me to leave.....not verbally at least. But their looks said it all! Unfortunately, there have been a lot of other times when I have encountered similar behavior. Is it because I'm a non-thin person? No, I see several people fatter than me. Is it because of my clothes? I don't think so, I see others wearing similar clothes. Is it because of my accent? Could be, but I hear a guy in suit with a German accent. Is it my ethnicity? Bingo!! No non-white person around! I feel like an animal in a zoo, so I have an overpriced beer and leave the bar 10 minutes after I entered.

Yes, racism exists....at least from where I stand...like it or not. But then someone says, "show me the racism, I cannot see it!". Of course you cannot....we don't have segregated drinking ountains anymore, do we? What we have now is covert racism, not overt racism. An African American driving in a White neighborhood gets pulled over for no apparent reason...that's racism. A White American says he is "colorblind", that's racism. Hah...you can still see shades of gray, can't you? This is one issue that gets me really mad...colorblind!! How does that work? Because when I meet someone different than me, I don't ignore the fact that they're different. I don't look at them and say, "oh you're White? I didn't know that!". Ignoring a person's racial/ethnic background and putting him or her in the "White norm" is wrong because you're stripping her off of her individuality, of her very culture the moment you do this.

I could go on and on about it but I'm going to stop at that for now. As for the minorities, everything isn't racism. Every single blow that you encounter isn't racism, regardless of how racism permeates into the society. Saying everything is the fault of racism makes you helpless and powerless....something you don't want. At the same time, take a stand. Just because you're the President belonging to a minority group does not mean you have to change your ways to fit into the majority group. Saying it wasn't racism but you thought it was isn't going to make people like you. Just because there is a minority President doesn't mean racism doesn't exist...tokenism, anyone? Riddle me this...if the current president wasn't so "White", would he have been elected? This question came from my 16 y/o African American client.

There is nothing worse than a racist who doesn't know he is one!

The Devil in Disguise

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I Heart Tina Fey!!!

Did you watch Saturday Night Live's first skit of the season?? Well, it's been said that Tina Fey and Sarah Palin look a lot alike, so obviously, SNL took advantage of this uncanny resemblance and brought in Tina Fey as Gov. Sarah Palin. Depending upon your stand in this election, you'll love it or hate it, but the bottom line is, it's supposed to be funny, so put your Democratic/Republican biases aside and watch this video for what it is!

Featured weirdo: Jesse Jackson

Ahh....thanks to the election, we have new issues cropping up every second. And thanks to Jesse Jackson!!
It started with this:



This is Jesse Jackson speaking into a microphone he thought was off.

Few days later, he made it into the news...again! He apparently used the n-word for Obama. It was discussed on The View the next day:



Whoopi says "This is a word that has meaning when you give it meaning", and I completely agree with her. African Americans use this word when they're talking amongst themselves, e.g. "I saw that n*** the other day" without any problems, but there is a reason why it is a racial slur. It started when Whites started calling Blacks n****s in a derogatory manner. The same applies to the word f** for gays. If you're gay, you can use the term f** but if you're straight, then using that term will light a fire. When you use the term f****t to describe a gay person, what you're really trying to do is bringing him down, and hence, this term should not be used.

Some might argue that this isn't fair, and that this word should be eliminated from the dictionary altogether (as Elisabeth Hasselback on The View suggested), but the truth is that if this word didn't have a negative connotation, it would be like any other word. We are the ones who gave meaning to this word, and when it's taken away from us, we become maniacs and argue why one group can use it and other cannot. So before using the word, know the history.

As for Jesse Jackson, if he used the term n**** to refer Obama as a person, i.e. a pronoun, I don't see anything wrong with it, but if he used it as an adjective, well....Jackson's already crazy!!