From a Closeted Feminist

Before I start off with my rant, I have a question for you (a few, actually). Who is a feminist? What defines a feminist? What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of a feminist? Are you a feminist?

 

If you answered something like……

Positive and negative terms for sexually
active men and women

• A feminist is a bra-burning crazy woman
• Feminists are women who hate men
• Feminists are lesbians
• Feminists want more than equality
• Feminists are under the illusion that equality does not exist
• Feminists secretly wish they had a dick and could sleep with anyone
• Fuck no, there’s no fucking way I’m a feminist.

……then you’re not alone.

 

You see, we live in a society where the word feminist has a negative connotation. I have heard of celebrities admitting that they are not feminists. What makes people afraid to admit that they’re feminists? To answer this question, one needs to understand the meaning of the word ‘feminism’ and understand why it came into existence.

 

I remember my undergraduate class “Psychology of Women” where the first question my recently-married (see how I have to put this in to make you understand that it’s not only lesbians or spinsters who talk about these things) professor asked us was “how many of you value females?” Almost all hands shot up (I’m sure the ones who did not raise their hands must’ve gotten some dirty looks from others). After this, Dr. Smoak added, “Look around you, all of you with their hands up in the air are feminists” It was as simple as that. It was easy. It was true! That is all I can say, if you value women, then you’re a feminist. If you admit you’re a feminist, it does not mean that you cannot be nurturing or you cannot take care of the family or that you have a want to burn bras! No, feminist means you value women as much as you value men, and you see both sexes as equal. As simple as that!

 

But is it really? I know so many people around me who use the term “feminism” in a negative way. They’re mostly men though a surprising number of them are also women. The moment I tell them that all humans are equal, they give me dirty looks. Some have gone as far as to tell me that it I must be saving a lot of money by not wearing a bra! Okay, let’s just make this one thing clear. I wear bras, I love bras, and I’ll never NOT wear them because honestly, they have supported me more than any of my friends! So no, I don’t save money that way!

 

There, I said it, I’m a feminist. Is it because I hate men? Nope, I love them in all their glory. It isn’t because I want to be like them. There are times when I enter a filthy toilet and wish I could pee standing up, but that isn’t enough to make me want to be a man! No, I’m not a lesbian. And certainly no, I do not want women to be more privileged than men. I have been a minority and have belonged to the privileged culture and I have always spoken for the minorities, so I do not think it is about power. No, I’m not a feminist for those reasons. I’m a feminist because I’m a humanist and I value all human beings regardless of their sex, ethnicity, caste, religion, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, etc. I’m a feminist because I BELIEVE that women are not treated as and considered equal to men.

What, then, is equality? Equality is when both the sexes are considered equal by all. Equality means getting the same pay for same qualifications. Equality means having the right to vote, right to drive, and right to speak your mind. When men can drive, why can’t women? When men can be promiscuous, why can’t women?

Why is it easier for someone to say that they are LGBT allies than to say that they are feminists? Why is it easier for people to stand up for racism than it is to stand up for sexism? Yes, I agree that some people may have played a part in making this term become so negative (I could easily argue about this but I’ll give this point to you), but that does not necessarily mean that everybody who stands up against sexism is “out to get men”! It is easier to accept that these women are crazy than to accept the fact that inequality exists. Same goes with arguments about other minorities. People in power would like us to believe that gender inequality does not exist and anyone who says it otherwise is delusional. But facts do not support this notion!!

So, this is where the closeted part comes in. I am not sure if I should tell the world that I'm a feminist because of everything that I've mentioned before. I'm not sure how they would react. Fuck, I'm even scared that they might come after me with torches and pitchforks!! I had a so-called friend who once said that I cannot tolerate men being superior to women and that I hated men for this. He couldn't have been more wrong because he got the reason wrong!! I only hate those (women included) who say that women are inferior to men and women cannot do everything that a man can do. Oh, and those who say that "women need to be put in their right place". Yep, so if you're one of them, don't bother coming in front of me.

On second thought, you may, because I've been forced to hide my feminist identity. I'll be a closeted feminist until the day I die, thank you very much!!