The D-Bags in My Profession

Where did our thinking skills go? What about questioning skills? Do we have to take everything at its face value?

 

As usual, I’m angry with some people in my profession. I’m not angry because they’re better than me but because they’re dumber and they don’t know it yet, and they’re ruining the profession for the rest of us! As they say, ignorance is bliss! It is human nature to listen to authorities because thinking causes distress and use of resources, which we don’t want to use unless we absolutely HAVE TO! So anyway, this fellow posts things on the net without any references attached to it. For example, he says something like, “long hours in front of TV cause kids to reach puberty early”. Jackass, support it with some research else you’re simply pulling things outta your ass, really! What impact does this have on people? People start to think that because this famous person who has knowledge about the world said it, it has to be true!

 

When will people in my profession realize that psychology is not based on opinions or simple observations and generalizations. It is a science where, if you have a hypothesis, you test it and then decide if it holds true under any or all circumstances, and only after doing that, you let it fly in the open. Your opinions mean shit to me. Show me a study and I might….MIGHT believe what you have to say. If you’re saying something, support it with a study, yours or anybody else’s, but a scientific study! If you cannot do that, then don’t call yourself a psychologist because you’re nothing more than a douchebag pulling things out of your ass or writing things you've heard from other without using your brains to think about it twice! You’re nothing more than a fool pretending to be a bigger fool!

Did My Profession Ruin My Life?

Well, it's not AS bad as it sounds........I think! I remember when I was in school and friends simply meant someone to laugh and cry with, and share your feelings with. Then came college and things remained the same.. The one thing that my undergraduate years taught me (apart from my academics) was how to communicate with people and help me become more confident. Unfortunately, being a foreign student hanging out with mostly Indian peeps did not help me that much, but it was a positive change nevertheless. And then came grad school.

Grad school was for only 2 years of my life, so there's no way I could've learned enough for it to make me ruin my life. No, it wasnt the learning that ruined my life, it was the awareness! I remember my professor telling the class that this profession will make us see things differently and once we started doing that, things would never ever be the same. (Un)fortunately, it did! I can't say where it all started but it did, and I blame (or thank) my profession for interfering with all aspects of my life! So how did it ruin my life?

For starters, I started questioning everything (for the most part). One might say that this bit is enough to ruin your life, and I agree! But if I don't question, I don't get the answers, and if I don't get the answers, I can't sleep at night. This questioning craze made me look for answers and started making me think critically. I stopped taking things at face value and that made me more aware of things around me. Yes, it ruined me forever because I cannot go back and turn that thing off. People around me got irritated because they told me something which was their opinion masked as a fact, for which they did not have a valid reason or answer. Yep, it ruined my relationships!

After those 2 years, I realized that I couldn't be around people who were superficial. Talks that did not have any depth did not interest me. You tell me that you saw XYZ thing and don't add anything more, I'm sorry but that doesn't interest me! Tell me what you learned or how you felt when you saw that thing, or at least something more to build up on that statement, but don't simply tell me you saw it just for the sake of talking about it!! I started losing interest in superficial people who were always talking about things they did over the weekend or people they met. I wanted more, I wanted to know them, their thoughts, their reactions, and all they gave me was foam that was absolutely useless! Yep, my profession ruined my social life!

Then there was the thirst for discussing ideas! I never truly understood the meaning of Eleanor Roosevelt's quote until this point of time. I was around people who bitched about other people and discussed their daily lives, but knowing people who discussed ideas was a luxury I did not have once I was done with my education. When I came back, I couldn't find anyone who was willing to talk about anything but themselves. I felt as if I was in limbo and there was no way out.....until I came across one, yes ONE person at work who could question ideas and think about them critically.

And finally, there was this need to communicate. There was a time, like everyone else, where I did not want to discuss my feelings with anyone and when I used to think that things get better when you sweep everything under the rug. After a certain point of time, I decided that I could not live with all the crap under my carpet....I simply refused to let it just sit there, this huge elephant in the room. I decided that I could not be around people who did not want to discuss their issues, and I believe I upset a few people with that attitude, but I stopped caring after a period of time because this was me....take it or leave it!!!

So yes, my profession ruined my life! I cannot live around people who are so narcissistic that all they can do, day in and day out, is post their pictures on FaceBook and wait for people to comment on them. I am different and I had realized this in school, but it took me years before I had the courage to come out (to myself) as an intellectual individual. I had to hide my thoughts in fear of people calling me a nerd or a geek. I continue living my life as a minority because most people are afraid to come out as thinking individuals. I continue being a closeted intellectual because it's scary to come out in a society that wants people to fit in and not question anything or anyone, a society that wants women to be obedient and not think for herself, and a society that would rather have superficial individuals who can brag and boast than have intellectuals who can make others think. Yep, my profession ruined my life but I think it was for the better....

I Abso-fucking-lutely Cannot Get Over You!

Dear India,

I'm soooo proud of you....for being sooo consistent.....in having your head up your ass most of the time. Seriously, I AM proud of you! You NEVER fail to disappoint me...and with this new issue at hand, I'll talk to you about how you've found another way to disappointment me....AGAIN. Let's have an honest conversation, shall we?

Sweetheart, what I don't like about you is the fact that you can only focus on one thing at a time. You've been talking my ear off about this Delhi gang rape issue but you don't seem to be able to focus on other rape issue that happened in Gujarat where a 2-year old was raped by her uncle and dumped before she succumbed to death, or other thousand cases that happened every month which are not reported. Nope, you can only focus on things that the media focuses on, isn't it?

Another thing I really hate about you, honey, is your fucked-up justice system and your thoughts towards punishment. I MEAN REALLY! Do you seriously think that having capital punishment for rape ever going to work out? REALLY? Wouldn't it be easier for the perpetrator, then, to kill the victim instead of risking him/her tell the authorities about it if he is going to get the same punishment? REALLY? Is your head that far up your ass that you cannot see this straight? If it were me, I would make sure that we change the certainty of punishment, not severity....but I guess it's just me!

Also, pumpkin, what are you doing about the hundreds of thousands of other women who are violated every year? What is the message you're giving them? You're asking them not to go out at night, not to wear "indecent" clothes, not to walk alone, etc. From where I stand, it doesn't seem like you're empowering them in any way, are you? Which leads me to ask you another question...What, in your opinion, leads to sexual violence?

Anyway, back to empowering women. Tell me, honestly, what are you doing about empowering women? I'm having open conversation about sexuality and sexual exploitation with my 12 year old students, what are you doing? You're forcing me not to do this, you're forcing me to see sex as a taboo (which, by the way, I refuse to do), you're thwarting my efforts at making our youth more informed and open about violence....and it's making me angry! So, how are you empowering women? I am afraid to go to the cops lest they pass some rude comments or blame me for getting violated. I am afraid to close my eyes in a train lest someone gropes me. I am afraid to sit on a bus full of people lest someone jacks off in front of me.....SERIOUSLY!! I don't see you empowering me, I honestly don't!

You make people caution their daughters and sisters to not go out at night but you don't tell these very same people to teach their daughters and sisters to fight for themselves. You teach them to fear walking alone at night but you don't teach them to shout when there is danger. I am appalled at the way you're handling this violence against women....REALLY!

Well, I could go on forever about this but I won't! Here are a few things you should remember if you're going to make any progress on this issue:

1. Empower women! Help them come out of the shell they've been living in for such a long time. Marital rape is still rape! Educate them!
2. Understand the cause for violence against women! Power and control....ever heard about it? Not sexual gratification. But if you still feel that sexual gratification is the cause, then lift some pressure off the whole sex thing! SERIOUSLY! Also, R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
3. Make the legal system better! I mean, c'mon, isn't that obvious! Also, remember that most perpetrators of rape know the victim, so you'll have to work harder towards this!
4. Be empathetic, not sympathetic! This is something that should come naturally but it hasn't, so work towards it! Ask that corrupt system of yours to work towards this!

So, babe, when can I expect you to take your head outta your ass? When we have a few thousand more of such cases? Or when your leaders are done taking out minorities (or terrorists, as they like to call them)? Or when we become a failed state and use this as a tool for redemption?

I'm waiting...