Are we in the 12th century? (really old time, that is!)

This is one topic I HAVE to talk about, and what follows is my opinion, feel free to disagree...but not here!!

So the other day, I was talking to this person, a 60 year old woman, Mrs. X, whom I have known forever. It started off as a friendly talk and then became sort of an argument (I prefer the label "Learning experience"). It was about getting married and commitment and everything that comes with that (I'll leave it for another blog entry), and before I knew it, we were on the topic of starting a family and having kids. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like families, it's just that I wouldn't want to start my own, and definitely not as how others expect me to do it.

Anyway, so this discussion took the usual turn (usual for me) and ended at the idea of having children. Mrs. X said that I should get married once I get done with my studies so that I can have children before 35. Why? Because the risk of giving birth to an underdeveloped/ unhealthy baby increases drastically after this age, and I agree with this. But just because of this reason, I shouldn't have to give up my life, sacrifice my career or whatever it is I am after, should I? Anyway, that's another topic!

Well, the thing with me is that I have never wanted to have kids of my own, thanks to the birthing videos I watched in my child development classes!! Okay, that's a lame excuse!! Anyway, I have my reasons for not having my own babies, which I'll explain in a bit, but what I don't understand is why people are so negative about adoption. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about adoption? "Not my own blood"? "Will never feel like my own"? What is it? Explain it to me to help me understand!

So why don't I want kids of my own? Well, the very first obvious reason for why I would adopt is my family history of ailments, i.e., my genes, my heredity. Looking at my family tree, I see a lot of chronic ailments, including diabetes, osteoporosis, cancer, arthritis, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease, asthma, male-pattern baldness, to name a few! Now why would I go out of my way and have a child of my own just so that he/she can inherit those diseases?? Doing that would not only make me selfish but also...well, dumb!!

So the argument here? They ask, "How can you guarantee that the child you'll adopt will not have those diseases in his/her genes?" The truth is I cannot guarantee anything, I'm not an astrologer and I cannot predict what is going to happen in the future. I don't know for sure if my offspring will inherit those genes or my adopted daughter will be perfect. But what I do know is that some unwanted child is already in this world, bad genes or not. There is nothing one can do to change this but what I can do is make his life better....hopefully. So at that moment, I have a choice - I can either give birth to a baby who will have higher chances of suffering from those ailments, but isn't here yet, or I can adopt a child who is already on this planet. Therefore, for me, this isn't an option, this is something I HAVE to do.

After this, they ask, "Why do you think so much into the future? Que Sera, Sera!!". Unfortunately, in this day and age, we have to think about the future, what with all the pressure we're putting on this planet's resources! If we don't think about the future, we're going to be the ones who will suffer. I know a couple who gave birth to a boy with a seriously degenerative disease. Before he is 10, he'll be in a wheelchair and if he is lucky enough, he won't live to see his 20th birthday. Who suffers? Obviously, the person with the disease is going to suffer but more than that, the person who gave birth to this child is going to suffer. I don't know about others, but as far as I am concerned, I don't want to carry the guilt of giving birth to such a child, at least not while also thinking about the other unwanted child whose life I could've changed.

Finally, they ask me, "If your parents had thought like you do, you wouldn't be here". That's true and I am really glad I am here, but if I wasn't, would I have known that? Would I be looking down on Earth and saying, "Oh man, I wish I was there in that world"? I guess not!

This is all I have to say about my reasons for adoption, but I still have a few questions. What is with you people who aren't open to adoption, even if it isn't you who is thinking about adoption? When you come to me and say, "Oh, I have always wanted to adopt after I have my first child", or "I will adopt because I already have a boy and I want a girl now", or "I still want one child of my own", it only makes me angrier than when you say you're not open to adoption. Why? Because by saying those things, you just exhibited your ignorance, and your trying to "fit in" and seem like unorthodox, open-minded people, when in reality, you're not. You're not open-minded because when you say those things, it just means that you're going to use adoption as the last resort, and not something that you really want. So quit being a douche and don't pretend!

And for all of you who are totally against adoption, let me remind you, we're in the 21st century - let's NOT go back, please!

This post is in no way meant to bring down people who want to have kids "of their own", it is meant to enlighten those who question why someone would want to adopt!